Friday, April 30, 2010

Is it time for a clean break with Jake?

You've broken my heart so many times this year. And we're still in April.

I keep forgiving you, Jake. I take you back. And what do you do???

You give up five runs in the FIRST INNING. That outing on Wednesday should've been it. Most owners would have broken up right there.

It's not you, Jake, it's me. Only this time, it's all you.

Of course, we're talking about Jake Peavy. The former San Diego stud pitcher who has turned into a White Sox goat, seemingly overnight. Sure, there was going to be an NL-AL correction. And The Cell is certainly no Petco.

But a 7.85 ERA and a 1.81 WHIP? Nobody has been given a longer leash than Jake. It feels like he's cheated on us by pitching for the other team. Like he's throwing BP.

If you sat Jake down, looked him in the eye and asked him why you should give him one more chance, what would he tell you?

That he's been broken, but he's about to be whole again? That he's a changed man? That he's finally found his way?

And would you believe him? Because that's his story:

''I just found my mechanics of where I needed to throw it,'' Peavy said after Wednesday's game in Arlington. ''The bottom line is I'm still searching, but it's coming. The end result is not about finding it, though."

It's possible that late Wednesday night, you finally hit your breaking point. Quite possibly it was after that atrocious five-run first inning that sent you to your room in tears.

If you're like me, you had your finger on the waive button. Although hopefully you're not like me and own him in multiple leagues. The heart can only take so much.

But then something happened in that second inning. It's like a switch flipped and he stopped those wandering pitches.

Five straight innings of no-hit, two-walk amazement from Jake. He even fanned six batters during this stretch.

Is the old Jake back? And does he still want you to wear his letterman jacket?

He scuffled a little in the seventh and Ozzie rightfully gave him the quick hook. But the damage was done. Both to our hearts and to our ERA/WHIP.

"I feel a little bit better about him," coach Ozzie Guillen said after. "but getting in the win column is what will really help him."

Spoken like a true cliche twirler. And he's probably right.

Although that's little consolation. You probably spent about $15 bucks on Jake or took him in the late single-digit rounds of your draft. Guys like that just don't get waived. Not in April. Or do they?

Several thousand Yahoo owners shed Jake on Thursday morning, deciding that he's fooled around one too many times.

If you haven't by now, you probably won't. And I'll give you two words why:

Kansas City.

Jake has the Royals twice in his next three starts, including Monday night at the Cell. His control has been awful. A mind-boggling 12 walks in the last two outings? That's not Jake.

But if he's still can't locate on Monday. If the Royals, a perfectly average hitting team, gets to Jake like the Rangers did in that first inning Wednesday, you have my full permission to kick him to the curb.

Tear up his phone number. Unfriend him from Facebook. Don't return his text.

Your heart can't take it.

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